(By Fr. Eze Emmanuel OSA)
What Number Best Exemplifies Your Current State and What Should You Do?
1. The Provider Hurdle
The African mentality is that the man must be the overall provider. This can be pushed too hard at times and stops a lot of men from marrying the people they really love because they are expected to provide everything. In a harsh economy like Nigeria’s, every unmarried man will think twice before committing.
Let’s change the narrative; it takes two to tango. Nowhere does the Word of God insist on men being the sole providers, but this is a harsh pill that our society is not ready to swallow. Culture should grow in mentality and with the times. The Bible references women contributing to household income (Proverbs 31:16-24, Acts 16:14, Acts 18:13).
2. The Nature of Bride Price and the Long Dowry List
In many cultures, the traditional marriage list given to the groom can feel like they are buying the wife. This is worsened by high wedding expectations and the pressure of hosting both traditional and church weddings.
3. Intimidation by Successful Women
Some men are intimidated by women who are more successful educationally or financially. This discourages many from approaching women in their thirties and above.
4. High Standards and the “Checklist” Culture
Social media and exposure to global standards have altered expectations about what a spouse should look like, earn, and act like.
As a lady, stop allowing peer pressure to dictate expectations for a life partner. Your spouse does not have to possess everything on your list. Seek God’s direction above societal expectations.
5. Unhealed Emotional Wounds
Past emotional hurts can keep many people trapped. Seek healing through counseling, therapy, prayer, and reflection. Do not allow previous experiences to ruin future opportunities.
6. Borrowed Trauma and Fear of Failure
Many people avoid marriage because of stories or experiences they have witnessed in others. Learn from others, but do not let their story become your own.
7. The Soulmate Theory
The Bible teaches free will. God has not limited you to only one possible spouse. However, it is wise to seek His guidance because compatibility matters.
8. The Rise of Sexual and Marital Aberrations
Cohabitation and prolonged singlehood have become increasingly accepted. This has reduced the urgency many people once felt toward marriage.
9. The Reality of Curses and Generational Bonds
Spiritual realities may play a role in some people’s experiences. Individuals should seek proper spiritual guidance and avoid assumptions without discernment.
10. Genotype, Health, and Compatibility Awareness
Medical compatibility has become a significant factor in modern relationships. Genotype, HIV, and fertility screenings help intending couples make informed decisions.
Conclusion
Every person’s situation is unique. Do not assume your challenge is caused by the same factors affecting someone else. Pray, seek wisdom, and identify the true source of your situation while trusting God for guidance and solutions.
REMAIN COURAGEOUS.
REMAIN PRAYERFUL.
YOUR STORY WILL NOT END IN SHAME.
AMEN.
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